A Message To Readers (if I even have any):

Chances are you happend upon my little page by googling in the toolbar something completely off the wall, and if that was what you were looking for, then you've come to the right place. Be prepared to waste a period of your life away if you graze around my page. You will not get the alloted time back, so I am warning you, I am not responsible.
I write about absolutely nothing at all. There is no importance to it, nor is there anything that will make you brighter. It will, in fact, make you dumb and possibly entertained a bit. I write because it's an outlet. It's fun and footloose and fancyfree. I have grammar and punctuation problems, and you probably have foul smelling body odor or maybe you walk through life with a constant wedgie. Let's play on that and be stoopit.
Beware of foul language and sometimes disgusting use of words.
Can't say I didn't warn ya.
Over and out.

Friday, June 17, 2011

News flash!

News flash! News flash!  News flash!  Mother fuckin News Flash!

Fresh bandits are on the friggin loose ya'll.
Martha's Vineyard, wonderland (US)-
We need help stopping this criminal.  This man is cruel and needs to be behind bars.  If you recognize this man, please report him to your local authorities.  Do NOT try and approach this man and perform a citizens' arrest.  You're flat out stupid and an attention whore trying to reap hero's benefits from the local townfolk.  Just call your local police.  This is a dangerous situation.  This criminal was last seen fleeing from martha's vineyard wherever the hell that is, in the US.  Good luck finding it.
 He started his morning with a casual jaunt in this rig. (see photo above).  Residents caught immediate notice of it, because no one in the entire town drives one of these things (even though you'd think people living in martha's vineyard would, but they don't folks, they don't).  Questions as to what exactly this contraption is, have yet to be answered.  This criminal is obviously dillusional.  The miniature horse was stolen from a farmer.  Apparently, the man was pulling this contraption himself before he saw the pony and decided  to use it instead.  He and the pony fled from the farm before the farmer could shoot the thing down with his rifle.
Once in town, there were obviously many witnesses.  One witness we spoke with said they saw the pony try to escape in a car.... she took a picture and sent it to our headquarters.

There was a lady and her child in the car when the incident occured.  Apparently she had been singing "Old McDonald" with her kids when a live version animal decided to join in.  The woman was terrified and the car swerved into another car and crashed.  No one was hurt.  

Shortly after, the criminal found the pony and recaptured it.  The poor pony was tied back to the contraption and made to ride another mile carrying the dillusional man.  Eventually, this happend:

The miniature horse isn't dead, but it is suffering from exhaustion and smelly diarehha.  Possibly from the snap peas the man kept feeding it.

The horse is asking everyone to be on the lookout for the criminal and to please turn him in so Martha's vineyard can be safe again.

1 comment:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That PICTURE OF THAT MAN IS SOOOOO MADDENING! OH MY GOSH I cant STAND how happy and obviously CAREFREE about the poor HORSE'S CONDITION and what he is HAVING TO DO! How inconsiderate! LOL it even looks like he keeps farting on the poor horse.

    This sentence just made me burst out loud laughing (even though you'd think people living in martha's vineyard would, but they don't folks, they don't).

    BAHAHAHA The pictures are hilarious with the story line! I love reading your blogs hahahahahahahahahaha